The Abilene Paradox refers to the practice of people in a group going along with a decision believing that it is what everyone around them really wants, even if it goes against the outcomes the group are aiming for. Put another way, it’s when you believe your preferences don’t align with everyone else’s in the group and based on this belief you don’t raise your objections.
The Abilene Paradox differs from group think. Groupthink is when people align opinions because they want to fit in with what they know everyone else is thinking and generally agree that the outcome works for the group. Groupthink is when cohesiveness is more important than the ideal outcome.
Don’t rock the boat
I have written previously about the veneer of stories we overlay on reality. I always believed these stories persisted thanks to groupthink and conformism. However, I’m starting to think that the Abilene Paradox has more to do with it. We don’t point out the obvious fiction or the uncomfortable truth because we think everyone else wants it to remain. We ignore elephants in rooms because everyone else prefers the elephants to remain ignored.
The Abilene paradox is insidious. It’s predicated on the idea that we know what everyone else wants, and that we should want the same thing, despite knowing it’s wrong. For the Abilene Paradox to flourish it requires insecurity and cowardice. It takes us to places we should never travel, and makes humanity realise mistakes that should never have happened.
Everything that is bland, that erodes creativity and wonder has Abilene behind it. Never assume that you know what others think, and if something is dumb, say so. In other words, rock the boat and push elephants out of the corners and into the light.